The Reunion, The Mustang, and The Espresso Shot

And the hill of dirt and doom.

Sunday afternoon, me, my family, and my sister's boyfriend went to our once-yearly family reunion at which we eat lots of chicken and corn, and kiss, hug, and talk to people we don't know, but who definitely know us. We meet under a primitive shelter located at the very top of the mountain, by way of a bumpy, dangerous, dirt road that goes straight up. Here is a diagram for you:

I rode with Sister and Soyfriend in Soyfriend's brand new Mustang! It was white and pretty and  un-wrecked and loved. It tried. Perhaps I should rename this post "The Little Mustang That Tried But Failed Epically Despite The Grunts and Groans Of It's Master".

Here is some of the dialog that took place during this Drive of Doom:

Sister: "JUST FLOOR IT!"
Soyfriend: *floors it*
Peanut: "AHH....!"
Mustang: "vroom vroom OUCH"
Rocks: "chink. chink. LOL, chink."
Peanut: "Hear that? That's the sound of ruined Mustang."

Eventually we made it up the hill unscathed. I can't say the same for Mustang.

Once there under the shelter, we took a count of all the people present. I was number 72 or 74, but definitely not 73. We ate food, pretended to laugh at our relative's jokes, and a chair broke under my weight. Highlight of my day. At one point I visited the outhouse that had been there since 16 BC. Then we left.

Musty was a good bit worse for the wear, but she volunteered to take us home anyway, and off we went.

Halfway down the Hill of Doom we met a big truck. Hi, Truck! So, we went backwards up the hill and didn't die. We were off again! After several ominous "sccccccrape!", "Chinkchinkchinkchinkers!", and "BOOM!"'s, we made our appearance on the civilized road once more! Never have three people ever cried for happiness at seeing the highway, until now.

After all this adventure, Sister decided she wanted coffee. We went to Starbucks. For a reason unknown to me now, I decided that I wanted an Espresso Shot! Soyfriend and Sister also ordered, and up to the first window we drove! Here is a picture of Sister's parking skills:

Twenty minutes later, we were five minutes from home! At last! I couldn't wait to be free! Hurra....Wha..wha...what are you doing?!? Why are we turning around?!?

Sister had the sudden desire to go back to Starbucks and get Brother something to drink. Need I mention that by this time we had already drunk our drinks, so Brother need never have known that we had gone without him.

Oh well. There is no stopping the will of Sister, especially Soyfriend. The majority was against my overruling, and an hour later, we were home!

Thus ends this dramatic retelling of my Mustang adventure. We are sorry about your car, Soyfriend.


Do not try this at home.