In Which:

I die. And then I die again.


This week, I have for you a video! No, not my usual written post, but this should hold you over until that comes.

    Below we have a video that me and Auntie What's-Her-Face made this afternoon in the style of stop motion. This is a very rare and special occasion in which you get to see me murdered.

And now! I get murdered again!

These are the first in a series of stop motion videos that will hopefully only get better. I'll be posting these videos here in between my usual posts.



- Peanut






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Gavroche the Psychotic Bear,

and the curse of the disembodied hands.



 Today's post will be written from the prospective of Gavroche,

My teddy bear.

     Hello there. I am Gavroche. I am French. I think. My father was a llama and my mother was a bear. My grandmama was a piece of plastic and my aunt is that odd-looking wire sticking out of your bedroom wall watching your every minute. Theeese... makes me French.
     I am exceptionally soft - something which the ladies faun over - and being so soft can have no other repercussions then to bestow upon me a certain humanity, and give me magical llama power. - The power... (lengthy pause for wonderfully executed dramatic effect) ...to curse people! *don DON don*
     I would like to tell you the story of a HORRIBLE vacation my peanut and I went on about a month ago. Peanut has an acquaintance a couple hours away from our comfortable, little abode, and she is NOT a very nice person. She even turned Peanut against me! 
   It was a dark and stormy night, and I had been mercilessly locked in a room with Peanut and Evil One. They had just devoured a bag of twizzlers, and their minds were full with their evil scheming. They looked this scary:

      They had also just watched a horror movie, which did not help my cause. As they were preparing to sleep, Peanut had the horrible notion of putting me next to Evil One, who instantly grabbed me and commented on my softness. This was all fine and good, but she then began to pull on my legs! I am very sensitive when it comes to my legs. Peanut knew this, but she said nothing! I was all alone in the world. Evil One continued to abuse me while Peanut looked on and laughed. She laughed in the face of my discomfort! It was humiliating! I told Peanut that I was NOT enjoying myself, and at last, she took pity on me. She took me away from The Epitome of Evil, and hid me in the covers behind her. I was ever so grateful. But Evil One was more intelligent than I had originally estimated! She stole me back! Peanut tried to console me, but there is no reasoning with a mentally disturbed llama-bear, and there is no escape. (Look for my upcoming novel: How To Survive a Night With Sadistic Teens On a Sugar High).
   There was nothing left to do. There was no other way out. I jumped.

  One of the pros of being a llama-wire-plastic descender is that I have three lives per night. I never been so proud of my heritage. But, NO! The Epitome of Evil has not given up! I jumped again. This time, I had a plan. She had left me with no other option. I must inflict her... with the curse!

 I read Evil One's mind and determined her worst fear. I located a piece of paper and drew out my spell:

    I call it: The Curse Of The Disembodied Hands! MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....etc.......

    Evil One screamed. So delightful to my ears! I returned to my body and spent the rest of the night in peace.

    The next day, Peanut promised to take me home if I reversed the curse. I agreed, and life was well again.

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*SIGH*

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I lied.

  
THE END!





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