A List Of My Fears.
Generally speaking, you would be hard-pressed to find something normal that I am afraid of. If you dangled a spider in front of my face, I wouldn’t flinch, but I probably would blow it onto your face. I’m all about forgiveness and niceness and stuff.
If you put a snake around my neck, I would probably kiss it or at least baby talk to it. Of course, if snake in question was a cobra, I would most likely begin writing a hurried will.
I could care less about bees; I’ve been stung, and I know enough to not pick one up, but I still enjoy watching them in my overgrown garden.
No, I’m not afraid of normal things. But I do have several paranoias that people find funny/weird/asylum-worthy, and I feel I ought to share them with you, my dear invisible readers!
First of all, from whence this title came, is my fear of thumbs. Actually, thumbs themselves don’t bother me, but I have this thing with thumbs-ups. One of my worst nightmares is being cornered as hundreds of people come marching at me with their thumbs raised high, singing a war cry of emanate death.
Perhaps weirder than this, is my fear of things falling into my bellybutton. Yes, I realize what I just said. Yes, I realize that nothing can actually fall into your bellybutton. But to this day, I cannot wear jeans that rest at the bellybutton, for fear of them falling in and the pain that will obviously ensue. For this reason, showering can be torture.
COOL FACT: My bellybutton fear has a name. Omphalophobia! There are even support groups. Nothin’ like going to a psychiatrist because you’re afraid of your bellybutton.
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